No one should address another by his simple name; but let the older monks call the younger ones “Brother,” and the younger address their elders as “Father.” But because the abbot is believed to hold the place of Christ, let him be addressed as “Lord” and “Father abbot”—not because he himself deserves the title, but out of love and reverence for Christ. Whenever the brethren meet, let the younger ask the elder for a blessing. Moreover, when the elder enters a room, the younger should rise and offer him his seat; so that it may be done as it is written: "In honor compete with one another" (Rom 12:10).
Such gestures are essential to keeping order in the community. They are small ways of reminding ourselves that Christ dwells in each of us. They force us to keep the ‘other’ in mind so we don’t run about the monastery slamming doors in each other’s faces and grabbing at the most comfortable chairs. Instead, younger monks beg a blessing from their elders whenever they pass by, and offer them a seat when they enter the room. Older monks address the juniors as “Brother.” And all the monks address their superior as “abbot.”
Of course, all this bowing and rising and blessing may seem a little silly to the outsider, but equally silly customs exist outside of monasteries too. Do you really care about the emotional wellbeing of the checkout clerk at Stop-N-Shop? Probably not. And you’d be very surprised indeed if when you walked up to the counter, she said, “My boyfriend just broke up with me; I have a bit of a cold; my little brother used my toothbrush to clean his fish tank; and I’ve been feeling slightly melancholy all week…” Still, you ask her how she’s doing (and she says, “Fine.”) because this is how you acknowledge your common humanity. She isn’t just there to serve your needs; and you’re not just a money dispenser. You and she have equal dignity as children of God. And so, from day to day, we hold the door for one another, nod and smile as we pass, offer to help when a stranger drops his groceries on the floor...
These conventions shift from culture to culture, sometimes quite dramatically, and learning their subtleties is important to getting along. In Japan, they bow to one another. Here in America, we shake hands. In France, they kiss (or so I’ve heard). For human beings all around the world, these small courtesies are essential, but they’re just conventions, so they change from time to time and place to place. The important thing is that we remember to honor the presence of God in one another.