DIGGING YOUR SELF-ABASEMENT, Part I

12 STEPS OF PRIDE: PART I

(Sermon to the Passionist Nuns of Ellisville)

Praised be Jesus Christ...Now and forever.'

As you all know by now, I consider myself an expert on humility. I was explaining this to a guest of the monastery a few weeks ago; and after he left, he sent me a book:  “Saint Bernard’s Steps of Pride”.  I’m sorry to say, I didn’t start reading it until last night.  But it reads like Saint Bernard saw into my soul.  It was so distubingly accurate, that I spent last night re-writing it as a letter to myself—and never wrote this morning’s homily.  So…you may consider this the first in a two-part series of sermons on pride: two parts, because I’m only half-way through the book.  So this morning’s sermon will be simply a re-telling of Bernard’s first six steps.  The second will be the rest of the steps.  And it will be up to you to figure out how this relates to our readings.  I’m thinking of turning this into a book, and the working title is:

"DIGGING YOUR SELF-ABASEMENT: SAINT BERNARD’S TWELVE-STEP GUIDE TO PRIDE
 It's just a working title, mind you.  Anyhow, like I said, I’m not entirely sure how this relates to this morning’s gospel, except to say that “when you see these things happening, know that He is near, at the gates.”

1THE FIRST STEP of pride is CURIOSITY.  How does it show itself? You see a guy who up to this time had every appearance of being an excellent monk. Now you begin to notice that wherever he is, his eyes are wandering, his glance darts right and left, his ears twitch. Some change has taken place in him; every movement shows it. 'He winks with his eye, nudges with his foot, points with his finger' (Prov 6P12). These symptoms show that his soul has caught some disease. He used to watch over his own conduct; now he is just watchful of everyone else. Oh, man. If you gave yourself the attention you ought, you wouldn't have so much time to look after others.

THE SECOND STEP is FICKLENESS.  Before long, the monk who observes others instead of attending to himself will begin to see some as his superiors and others as his inferiors; in some he will find things to envy, in others, things to despise. His eyes have wandered and so his mind follows. … One minute he is full of envious sadness, the next childishly glad about some excellence he sees in himself.  One moment he is sulky and silent except for some bitter remarks; the next sees a full outpouring of silly chatter. Now he is laughing, now doleful; all without rhyme or reason. 

Thus we will proceed to the THE THIRD STEP OF PRIDE which is GIDDINESS.  The monk that has fallen this far, is so saddened every time he sees the goodness of others, and so impatient with humiliation that he will be in a constant state of distress. So he finds an escape in false consolations…he has retired into a happy cloudland…where he never takes anything seriously.  "It's no big deal" he tells himself.  Watch a guy like this, and you will notice that he is over-cheerful in appearance, swaggering in posture, always ready for a joke, any little thing to get a laugh.  At times he simply can't stop laughing or hide his empty-headed foolery. He never takes anything seriously. He is like a bladder pumped full of air that has been pricked and squeezed. The air whistles out through the tiny hole with squeaks and peeps. The rule of silence will not let this monk relieve himself of his vain thoughts and silly jokes. They gather pressure inside until they explode in giggles. In embarrassment he buries his face in his hands, tightens his lips, clenches his teeth. It is no use! The laughter must burst out, and if his hand holds it in his mouth, the laughter erupts through his nose.

THE FOURTH STEP IS BOASTING When vanity has swelled the bladder to its limits, a bigger vent must be made or the bladder will burst. As the monk's silliness grows, laughing and signs are not enough outlet, so he is full of words; and the swelling spirit strains within him. His hunger and thirst are for listeners... At last the chance to speak comes.  He asks the questions--and gives the answers; cutting off anyone who tries to speak. When the bell rings for prayer and it is necessary to interrupt the conversation, hour-long though it be, he seeks a minute more…His aim is neither to teach nor to be taught, but to show how much he knows…He warmly recommends fasting, urges vigils and exalts prayer above all. He will give a long discourse on silence and humility and each of the other virtues--all words, all bragging… If you hear him, you will say his mouth has become a fountain of wit, a river of smart talk. He can get a laugh out of the most serious man in the room. 

When a man has been bragging that he is better than others he would feel ashamed of himself if he did not live up to his boast and show how much better than others he is. And so he descends to THE FIFTH STEP: SINGULARITY.  The common rule of the monastery and the example of the seniors are no longer enough for him. He does not so much want to be better as to be seen that way. He is not so much interested in leading a better life as he is concerned with appearing to do so…He is more complacent about fasting for one day when the others are feasting than he is about fasting seven days with all the rest. He prefers some petty private devotion to the whole night office of psalms. While he is at his meals, he casts his eyes around the table to be sure no one is eating less than himself.  He is never at rest. He wonders what others think about the appearance of his face, since he cannot see it.  He is very exact about his own behavior and slack about the common exercises. He will stay awake in bed and sleep in choir. He makes sure that those sitting outside know he is in there modestly hiding in a corner, clearing his throat and coughing and groaning and sighing.  Some are misled by his worthless singularities and they preemptively canonize him, confirming the poor guy in his self-delusion. 

THE SIXTH STEP IS SELF-SATISFACTION  All this time, he has been swallowing the praise that others give him. He is quite complacent about his conduct and he never examines his motives now; all he needs is the approval of others. He thinks he knows more about everything than anybody, and so, when they say something favorable about him he believes them--against his own conscience. Now he not only makes a show of his piety, but he actually believes that he is holier than the others. It never occurs to him that their praise might be given to him out of ignorance or kindness; his pride says to him, "You deserve it."

Well, brothers and sisters, “when you see these things happening, know that He is near, at the gates.”

In the Name of the Father...